Communication Tips
May 2008
By Joan Craven
www.joancraven.com

Ladder of Inference

I remember a leadership meeting where we were talking about how staff members were taking longer and longer coffee breaks. What could we do? Bring it up at the next staff meeting?

After about ten minutes, the newest member of the team cautiously asked, “Are all staff doing this or just a few? Why not time the next break one of your people takes? When she comes back, if in fact it is longer than the recommended 15 minutes, talk to her about it.”

We all stopped. Why confront the offenders directly? Then we thought, why not? We certainly did not need to waste everyone’s time on a problem that we perceived was only with a small group of employees. Or was it?

We needed facts not inferences. Perhaps we imagined that all breaks were getting longer when, in fact, most staff members were keeping within company guidelines.

When we start to think something is much larger than it is, it’s time to do some calculations, and rely on facts instead of our own perceptions.

The minute we think ‘everyone is doing it’ or ‘not doing it,’ we get into trouble and fall into a very deep blame/shame hole. Instead, ask yourself ‘Is this true?’or ‘What is true?’ and then make some solid go-forward plans based on ‘just the facts, ma’am.’

Perhaps you are dealing with a person who always makes you feel embarrassed or nervous. Is this fact, or do you simply expect that this will happen so it does?

When we begin to see our beliefs as truths, our thoughts become skewed. In communication we call this the Ladder of Inference. If you think about a ladder with rungs, the first step is what we actually observe. The next rung is when we select certain data from what we observe. The next rung has us making assumptions based on the meanings we add from our past experiences, and then we draw conclusions. Next we develop beliefs based on only select data, and finally we take action based on our beliefs.

For example: I see Howard coming. I start to brace myself because he always embarrasses me, plus he is wearing his red power shirt. He shows me a news release he is working on and asks for my feedback. I am cautious and say that it looks fine to me. He smiles, thanks me and says that he’ll send it out as soon as Terry approves it.

I think `Oh sure, why even ask me when you are going to get Terry to approve it anyway? What a put-down artist!’ STOP! Is that true? What is true? If I am honest and step off the Ladder of Inference, I’ll realize that Howard was polite and asked for my help. And maybe he likes the colour red. If I didn’t have past experience I would have felt honoured that he wanted my opinion.

Are you short circuiting reality? Is there a disconnect between the actual data and how you are interpreting it? It often helps to slow down, step away and ensure you are dealing with the real data.

Joan Craven offers workshops, seminars and personal coaching on various communication topics.
She can be reached at joancraven@shaw.ca or (403) 286-7721 or
toll free 1-888 -376-4386 (US and Canada).