Communication Tips
December 2008
By Joan Craven
www.joancraven.com
Workplace Stress
On November 24, 2008 a Swedish study stated that a “bad boss’ can harm your health. While doctors caution that people are not keeling over in record numbers, there is a direct link between poor managers and ill health. In fact, it appeared that whether an employee smoked, exercised or had weight issues did not matter as much as whether or not he or she worked for a nasty boss.
Bullies are not only in schoolyards -- they are found everywhere, including at work. A large percentage of workplace stress is caused by bullying behaviour, often by a boss or senior manager. The Canadian Centre for Occupational Health and Safety (CCOHS) defines workplace bullying:
Bullying is usually seen as acts or verbal comments that could 'mentally' hurt or isolate a person in the workplace. Sometimes bullying can involve negative physical contact as well. Bullying usually involves repeated incidents or a pattern of behaviour that is intended to intimidate, offend, degrade or humiliate a particular person or group of people. It has also been described as the assertion of power through aggression. (http://www.ccohs.ca/oshanswers/psychosocial/bullying.html)
A bully is one who does not want a win-win situation or to cooperate with colleagues. A bully wants control, and he or she wants to win at all costs. A bully knows what he or she wants and doesn’t care what they have to do to get it.
A bully may withhold information or provide inaccurate information so you cannot do your job. A bully may overwork you and assign impossible deadlines. Gossiping can be a form of bullying.
So what can you do? Begin by asking your human resources department what the company policy is on bullying. I recently attended a seminar in Windsor, Ontario on workplace bullying. George King, a lawyer with McTague Law Firm of Toronto, stressed that from a legal perspective, companies want to ensure they have taken steps necessary to show reasonable care and due diligence with respect to workplace bullying.
Some points include having a written code of conduct, documentation of training for all employees, a written policy of progressive disciplinary action, and documentation stating that the policies are acted upon and enforced by all levels of management.
Companies are now beginning to acknowledge that bullying costs large amounts of money, and while in the past managers above the bully managers or boards ignored bully behaviour, they aren’t as likely to now.
If you work with or for a bully and you have tried all the normal ways to work with this unpredictable person, here is one technique: If the work and deadline demands are unreasonable, put the responsibility back on your boss to prioritize your work.
Calmly and firmly say, “I have these projects to complete. (name them) Which one do you want done first?”
“Do them all,” she blusters.
“I wish I could. I can’t. Now which one do you want me to complete first?”
If she says negative things, simply look at her and wait…and wait for an answer.
Do not get into a discussion. Keep it brief or they will give you grief.
“Do them all and have them to me by Friday!”
“It’s important for me to understand which one you want done first?” Then shut your mouth and wait.
“Okay, get the Wilson report done first.” Then, she stomps out.
If you find the joy is gone from your job and you feel hopeless and unmotivated it’s time to examine why. If you find you are being bullied, there are ways to deal with the bullying behaviour. Don’t let dealing with a bully make you sick.
Click here for another newsletter on Tips for Dealing with Bullies
Joan Craven offers workshops, seminars and personal coaching on various communication topics including bullying.
She can be reached at joancraven@shaw.ca or (403) 286-7721 or
toll free 1-888 -376-4386 (US and Canada).